Clearing the Air Out

I had another annoying dream last night.  I know why I dreamt it but how to fix it?  You see, I believe this person I'm dreaming about thinks I'm very angry with them & I'm not.  Not anymore... :-)  I sometimes wish I will I run in to this person somewhere and I can tell them so myself. This is not likely though so I shall just let time pass.

This person along with certain songs on my iPod got me thinking this morning.  Who else from my past thinks I still hold a grudge or anger towards them?  I can think of a few.  I sat still and meditated about it. Am I still angry at them? I thought about the bad memories that caused our friendships to end and I felt something wonderful.  Peace.  I was at peace thinking about bad memories because I knew we were all young and stupid.  Then I started remembering the good moments. So my answer was no. I had no bad feelings for them.

The idea of writing to them came to my mind.  I don't have any bad feelings towards them and I do remember how beautiful or fun our friendship used to be. I do not intend to rekindle old friendships but I just want to clear the air out and tell them that I wish them well in life.  I will apologize for any bad actions or words that may have come from me in the past.  Then tell them that there's no anger or resentment from me and that I hope for the same from them too.  

Some of my current friends may think I'm trying too hard or just wasting my time. The past is the past.  But I feel life is about learning and I've learned so much. One thing I learned I read in my prayer book.  If I expect to be forgiven then I must also forgive just as easily.  But I can't just preach it, I have to practice it.  

Who knows, these old friends may not care for me or how I feel anymore and that's okay.  The important thing is that they will know I hold no bad feelings towards them.  There's a little bit less of bad energy out in the world. <3

Xxoo....

I Wonder If.....

I believe I have a special gift. My entire life I have noticed if I'm thinking about someone a lot and I call them (or sometimes they call me & beat me to the punch) they will always be surprised and tell me they were thinking about me too.  

In the beginning I would just brush it off as a coincidence but now I truly believe it's more than that.  

I decided to test my gift today. I was thinking about a friend who I haven't seen or talked to in a long time. There's no special date or reason that would normally make me think about them.  So I spent half of my drive home from work thinking about this friend and the good ol' days. Once I got home I texted my friend and said I was thinking of them.

My friend's response?  "OMG!!! I've been thinking about you too!!!"

Now you may think it's my friend's powerful thinking influencing me but I cannot agree.  This has happened with almost all my friends. Since I'm the common denominator I figure it's me. :-)  

So anyway................ All of this explaining to preface this question........

I wonder if a certain someone is thinking about me since I can't freakin stop thinking about them. :-/  I hope so. The thought makes me feel less retarded. :-)

Xoxo.......

Too Good To Be True?

I'm sitting at my desk looking out the windows and thinking how happy I am. I can't believe I live in a great apartment, in a great neighborhood, with everything I've dreamed of. Really, EVERYTHING. I feel so at peace right now it scares me to think I might be taking this for granted. My heart is fluttering with happiness for my home.

Dear God, thank you for all the blessings in my life right now. My home, my family, the good health of my family and friends, and my job.

What a gorgeous turbulent day. It's cold at 50 degrees, the wind is pretty strong and making the day more cold, the sky is filled with puffy clouds that do not cover everything so you also get to enjoy the beautiful blue and sun. They say a thunderstorm is on the way and I'm quite curious to what the energy in storm will bring. I look to my left and I see blue skies and then I look straight ahead and see the onimous dark gray clouds. Cool...

Quiet - peace and quiet. It's just me and my heart right now. Can we pause time so I can enjoy this more? Is this what meditation is all about? I can do the meditation thing any day from this corner of my world.

Adios empty space.

xoxo...

My First Step

Yaay!

About 15 minutes ago I took my first step towards my personal legend. I admit I'm a little afraid of rejection but deep down inside I know I can kick ass with this. I requested an application from LACMA to become a Docent volunteer. I'm excited! An art history background is not required. They train you for an entire year in art history before you start giving tours. AMAZEBALLS!!!

Of course you have to apply and go through an interview process but I know I can do this. While browsing LACMA's website I was reading about their other councils and was so intrigued! I haven't felt this way in a long time.

I really want this and will work so hard to get there.


Afraid, excited, intrigued, and challenged. I'm loving this. :-)

FB Drama Update

So my friend apologized and asked that I try to understand. All I could say in response was that I respect the decision. And I do respect it. I might not agree with it but I will respect it.

Anyhow, my friend wants to hang out and to be honest so would I. As I said before, we used to be very good friends. I would love to spend some time to catch up.

So the initial anger is gone. All I can do is to continue what I always try to do. That is, all I can do is just live in each moment and be open to the changes that come my way and hopefully handle each challenge with a little more grace.

Who said I was perfect? lol........

xoxo,
Me

FB Drama

Grrrrrr.... Really? Is it really necessary? Geez!

So I recently found a high school friend on FB. I was so excited because we were really good friends back in those days.

Anyhow it's been 15 years and obviously a lot has changed since then. I get it. I know. No need to spell it out for me because I have changed too. To be frank, who hasn't changed?

It started with something stupid I did. In the middle of my excitement, due to finding this friend on FB, I tagged this friend on a lot of my high school pics that I have uploaded on FB. I then message this friend and basically say "I hope you're okay with my tagging you." I should have asked if it was okay prior to tagging. Lesson learned. Unfortunately it wasn't okay and I respect that but did this friend really have to delete me from their friends list? Really? Was it really necessary?

Yes, this has upset me but I will choose to look at this in a positive light. This little piece of FB drama was a flash back to typical middle school / high school drama. Not typical of what I knew of this friend but just typical. I realized this friend has issues that are beyond me that I cannot understand (nor will I try to) but I will respect. Anyhow, everyday I work to keep unnecessary complications / drama far away from my life. I don't need this type of complication from anyone; therefore, THANK YOU FOR DELETING ME and have a nice life. I will always keep those wonderful HS memories of our friendship near.

Lots of love,
Me

Agape Singles Event

Why am I at a singles event and blogging?  Hahahaha...

Xoxoxo