It's been over 9 months since my life at work changed. There have been ups and downs but "at least I have a job". Yeah, I have to remind myself of that every now and then.
I'm not happy anymore. I don't enjoy what I do and I have no clear picture of what road I want to take. I've been going with the flow of things but haven't been motivated for much. I've thought about what could change to make me happy again and my brain is taking me places where I never thought it would. Silly me even considered politics as an option! Wow, desperate times call for desperate thinking. lol....
I miss being excited about work. I miss learning to grow. I can't even provide that for my own employees. I can teach them all I know but can't get them the promotions they deserve.
I do find comfort in my office. I love my boss, my employees, and even some of my clients. I love living so close to work with only a 10 minute commute to worry about. This for now is providing some happiness.
The other thing providing me happiness is my apartment. I love it. One day I got home from work and thought about how happy I am in it. I had the sudden urge to hug my apartment. I wanted my arms to stretch so I could wrap them around my home to give it a tight hug, almost not wanting to let go.
My mom finally has her own apartment. She's busy furnishing it and I hope once she's done she'll love her place as much as I love mine.
2010 has been a shaky year for everyone I know. It's been a year of highs and lows, ups and downs, ying and yangs, etc. I sometimes think I miss the time when a year was all good and then the following year was kind of bad. What would get me through the bad year was looking forward to the good year that was inevitably next. Seeing a clear differnce between the good and bad years has become more difficult as I've gotten older. I am now realizing that every year will have its share of ups and downs, highs and lows, ying and yangs, yada yada yada yada.
So when you're in the middle of your high, enjoy it to the fullest because the low isn't too far and you have to remember how good the high felt.
When you're in the middle of your low, you have to look deep within yourself and find that glimmer of light at the end of tunnel. You tell yourself that the low will not last because another high is not too far.
Some people call this being positive. I call it survival. This is what gets me through life's rollercoaster. Otherwise I would just go nuts and self destruct.
Xoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.............. Princess Sandra
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