I had another annoying dream last night. I know why I dreamt it but how to fix it? You see, I believe this person I'm dreaming about thinks I'm very angry with them & I'm not. Not anymore... :-) I sometimes wish I will I run in to this person somewhere and I can tell them so myself. This is not likely though so I shall just let time pass.
This person along with certain songs on my iPod got me thinking this morning. Who else from my past thinks I still hold a grudge or anger towards them? I can think of a few. I sat still and meditated about it. Am I still angry at them? I thought about the bad memories that caused our friendships to end and I felt something wonderful. Peace. I was at peace thinking about bad memories because I knew we were all young and stupid. Then I started remembering the good moments. So my answer was no. I had no bad feelings for them.
The idea of writing to them came to my mind. I don't have any bad feelings towards them and I do remember how beautiful or fun our friendship used to be. I do not intend to rekindle old friendships but I just want to clear the air out and tell them that I wish them well in life. I will apologize for any bad actions or words that may have come from me in the past. Then tell them that there's no anger or resentment from me and that I hope for the same from them too.
Some of my current friends may think I'm trying too hard or just wasting my time. The past is the past. But I feel life is about learning and I've learned so much. One thing I learned I read in my prayer book. If I expect to be forgiven then I must also forgive just as easily. But I can't just preach it, I have to practice it.
Who knows, these old friends may not care for me or how I feel anymore and that's okay. The important thing is that they will know I hold no bad feelings towards them. There's a little bit less of bad energy out in the world. <3
Xxoo....
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